SOCIETY

Life says: you cannot be righteous/ UNLESS you are a believer. Because a believer insists on the inside and the outside; “I know”/ because I want what I want; regardless of reality.

Without righteousness; there is no bigotry, no prejudice, no intent to participate as a herd, no claim of judgment or its violence, not even hate survives without belief. Consequently, what you believe will be your guide, to who you are. Believers lie, because want is the most important thing in their lives.

Truth is not belief! Truth simply lets truth decide, not me or you. And in that path of developing a decision within ourselves; the value of truth becomes the destiny of our hope. The distinction of who “I am”, as life expressed on the inside and outside of my own existence. Truth becomes a law, because it cannot lie; and that law enforced by, truth will survive. Is eternal in its own description of life.

Today, we come to the end of my participation in your world. NO, I am not going to kill myself.

I am telling you: that unless you rise for yourselves to fight this fight for redress of grievances/ your world will fail, and your lives will die. THAT makes this YOUR FIGHT, not mine. I will simply stand as “a citizen” demanding the law of our nation; must be kept. NO MORE aiding and abetting the enemy of our nation or world. YOU WANT CHANGE: SOCIETY MAKES THEIR OWN EMPLOYEES CHANGE. By LAW, AS IS REDRESS in this OUR democracy.

NO YOU CANNOT scream “I have a gun”/ that is worthless as war; reminding you “kill a billion people/ and there are still 8 billion more to go”. Or just one in every nine; and that ain’t enough. So unless you wish to wait for universities to unleash their next biological weapon; to kill the majority as was covid. You must stand up for yourselves, and USE THE LAW TO REMOVE THE ENEMIES of your existence.

But that is only part: because your wants brought you here/ where universities lead to whatever you want right now; by completely discarding the future and all its life. As is so obvious by the evidence/ and their complete disengagement with life itself; as is lets play god instead of doing what we don’t want to do.

LIFE IS: ACCEPTING WHAT IS TRUE MUST BE DONE; as is you can’t continue living unless you breathe, eat, drink, and so on. Same is true of all your wants; all your screaming we can play god/ but cannot.

DOING what truth needs for you to do is MANDATORY to survive/ and all the evidence is clear; your leaders chose not to survive; and you let them as a cult of worshipers; who bow down to “the curse of Satan” which is “nose to the grindstone, so you cannot see/ screaming I want what I want; as your guide”. Let the future die.

THAT AIN’T ENOUGH! So redress, which is the law of democracy itself/ demanding we have had enough of liars, thieves, cheaters, traitors, failures, fools, terrorists, and satan worshipers or devils invading our lives. And will use the law; to rise up and begin to think for ourselves/ instead of follow to HELL. And that begins today. As is redress must rise as the law of us all; the investigation of what is true/ so that none hide in belief; and the “united society” of this USA who says WE WILL decide now for ourselves, as the owners of this democracy. Forcing out the corruption, collusion, and conspiracies to destroy us all. WITH OUR LAW.

Get off your ass; and work. Or more clearly this redress means: STOP DESTROYING OUR NATION AND WORLD/ and prove that we will investigate the evidence/ calling for testimony as needed/ and then judge what is true for ourselves. Reminding each one: that money (the game of fools) does not decide anything. And reminding the nation itself; that counterfeiting of currency/ and the refusal of media to inform you of anything over these decades of deceit; removes them from the fight. Their money is entirely fake/ and so then is your own; because no reality exists within the numbers. They are “fools gold”.

Putting back life with truth;

1. NO MORE EXTREME EXPERIMENTS WITH LIFE OR WORLD OR ENERGY; or the universities are done leading forever. Simple as that.

2. LIMITED CAPITALISM; ends the game of money/ and returns the living to us all. TIE THE CURRENCY TO CENSUS COUNT/ AND DO NOT LET THEM CREATE DEBTS FOR YOU. By deciding on what is fair as a society, to give us all an equal chance based upon what we do. BUT IN NO WAY will there be less than three times more; because some earn it/ and some do not. The simple solution is then start with $30,000.00 at the top/ $10,000.00 at the bottom; spread that around for the interim of “deciding for ourselves”. And then consider how best to resolve all the theft and tragedies of “hidden war”; that has been going on for decades; “universities in charge”. We decide banking; EVERYTHING/ BY VOTE.

3. WORLD LAW IS THE ONLY SOLUTION; unless you want to continue spending for war/ not society; and giving them the ruthless reality of killing your own lives. REMOVE the weapons of mass destruction; by enforcing law on your leaders/ enforcing boundary lines by international policing. Enforcing there will be smaller nations; so that realities such as population control can be enforced; because we must.

4. NO RESOURCES MEANS NO LIFE ON EARTH; and that means completely new methods of containing human behavior so that you do not all die/ and NOBODY gets to use war against the others. You failed/ you pay. The earth attacked/ we all help.

5. A complete FOREVER CHANGE in healthcare, and everything else needed by life in society; granted by law/ not belief. You choose.

6. We decide TO SAVE OUR PLANET/ by not letting what humanity does; KILL OUR WORLD. And that means RESPECT THE REALITY OF OUR TRUTH; throw evolution out, and return to reality decides not you.

7. GOVERNMENT IS; THE CONTRACT OF OUR OWN CHOICES/ to govern ourselves by these words; as is the preamble of the USA constitution. MAKE IT REAL/ and imprison the terrorists who failed life on earth.  Changing ALL taxation INTO just one bill/ no hiding it in thousands of “little taxes”. WE WILL KNOW, and vote for ourselves.

8. The insurgency so common throughout history; of people claiming to be superior (nobility) ends as is universities nazism (we steal what we want_). The rebellion against our laws/ the disrespect against our democracy; as is anarchy/ the curse of human want, and its belief; abandoned: to let truth decide for us all.

9. IF YOU CONTINUE as you are; the gates of HELL itself will open, and never let you go!

   I remind you again: IF YOU SET APART 9,000 PEOPLE/ then each individual person represents one million others= 9 billion! OR, IF YOU KILL A MILLION PEOPLE; that represents a loss of just one person out of 8,999 more. AND THAT is only one of many threats that will not go away “with want”.

   . A one percent (10 per 1,000) rise in population: IS ANOTHER ONE MILLION MORE; every four days.

   “while horrifying in itself: it also means: WHO can stand against us all?” answer is none.

   YOUR CHOICE IS: to use the law to regain truth in life, and return to respect for this world. IF NOT the end has come/ want it or not.

   As for me: I have lived almost entirely alone throughout my time on earth/ and will not be threatened or changed to reduce the cost of trial; by you. Which means there is no possibility truth will not come out.  or, it is the end of “university defined lies”.

   Truth survives/ lies do not, want will fail, and the identity of who you chose to be; will reveal itself. as the evidence decides what is true.

   While it is true; your elders chose to let the children die, for their wants (we don’t have to care)/ it is also true, that I found no difference in the children throughout my time on earth; as is they would have chosen the same. Consequently “same/ is same” for all.

   CHOOSE; “your eternity”.        the game is dead.

   And humanity said: “none of that/ AIN’T NEVER going to happen”. BECAUSE its just too much change (we want what we want), and power won’t let it; “they want what they want too”.

   But reality replied: WANT no longer matters/ LIFE OR DEATH does. So the question of trial to UNDERSTAND WHAT IS TRUE; is not about what you or they want. But about what life on earth can survive/ or not. Whether humanity will change to protect this world and its life; or not. As is the gate to extinction/ rather than “being free”; cursed by your want as is fate.

   Bringing to life on earth: IF YOU HAVE NO BRAIN, CLAIMING “just want” as is “animal; rather than human”. Then the best you can do is hope to vanish from existence as is “dust to dust”.

   If you find a brain to think for yourself/ then the reality is choose: life or death, CARING enough to fight for this world. While hoping the miracles of this world prove true: “that eternity does exist”.

   Either way: what happens now, is a human decision; for all life on earth. Unfortunately, “like me”/ you only get one vote. Because our world is in trouble; and we all, “just get one vote”. For life or death of our planet. No excuses; just one vote each.

   And the people say: YOU CAN’T SCARE US; “plenty of open space left for humans”.

   BUT without fertilizers; phosphorous will soon be gone/ as will irrigation. Global warming and more exist to remove crops. Making it impossible for You; as is cannot grow crops; leaving only animals to eat what is left, and oceans to create food. Ocean life in horrible conditions. And animals confronted by pandemic disease; means death for you too.

   OR MORE DISTINCTLY: YOU EAT LIVING FOOD SOURCES! AND EVERYTHING humanity does; (you steal, and destroy their food sources) is tragic to life on earth.

   

   FACT REMAINS: “DIFFERENT than what men have done; IS THE ONLY RELIEF POSSIBLE”. [i searched ten years/ men CANNOT do it].

   That fact identifies female as the only source of DIFFERENT than men.

   Consequently; while it is my intent to completely disregard “what humanity does” from this point forward. It does remain my intent; to help “organized women” find the laws that are needed for this world to survive. IF, they ask me directly.

   If not, they can use this property I own; for that purpose; and I will be glad to move out for that period of time; so you can do what needs to be done. So long as you pay the expenses you “the group”, have induced. BUT bear in mind; “the only thing you will find here is work” for life on earth. Because it ain’t no game, even if you want it to be.

   I have said what was given to me to say; all DONE.

   My prayer: may life return its freedom; as best it can to me.

   “even though everything could hardly be more wrecked as male; dead and gone”/ at least I could try being whatever it is female makes out of me, this life, or this living; without an endless “NO you can’t”. To rule over everything.

   Reality says NO! And that means, I must return to the beginning of living, to remove everything I have been/ and find what it is I have never been, to be what I have never desired to be. I literally feel as if “lost in outer space/ detached from earth” and heading for an entirely different planet (truly strange). Yet as I get closer, there is a structure being built; so it must be a planet of builders; and some degree of disciplines must then be shared. Nonetheless, life says: “this is home/ deal with it”.

   More distinctly: in the separated world of female/ there is no place for male to exist. No element of male, or its perversions/ as is only introduced in the discretion of time. The consequent force of an entirely different direction to living; relies upon the acceptance of truth, changed. An extremely rare or unknown event. A value beyond the evidence of proof in time. Until time itself, will prove it is so. Discipline is a duty to law, and law is a duty to life; created by thought.

   Which then seeks; the discretion of knowledge, to understand the basis of wisdom. From which direction is born.

   I will, remind to all male or perversions of male; “there is nothing about me/ that can compensate you; for an eternity in Hades”. ONLY “simple and plain; NON-sexual” examples of behavior are accepted. Not a threat from me; you have been told.

   And the world says: “we hate you/ we want what we want; and YOU cannot make us stop”. Because the vast majority choose to be animals.

   Even so: I am not your enemy/ and I will not make you stop whatever it is you are doing. That is your decision; like jumping off a mountain claiming “I can fly”/ only to find your belief was wrong.

   I am not your distraction, as I refuse to lead; you cannot blame me for your own failures/ not my fault, you chose.

   I am not your savior/ can’t save a single one; how can you doubt that? It is simply true.

   I am not here for your money; DON’T send me anything/ as it cannot be considered safe. If an organization of women; create what they need: THEN THEY can ask for donations/ I do not, nor does anyone for me; ever.

   I am not your whatever it is! Instead I have been a messenger; given the job to warn you of extinction; if you fail to change.

   I am “different than you”/ but still plain human being, alive until dead. “its complicated”.

   SO I TELL YOU PLAIN: DON’T LET THEM DISTRACT YOU WITH ME. I have finished my work/ I am done with creating a message for you/ there is nothing left for me to do; other than simply sustain this lawsuit until you take control/ or let it die; by your choice.

   As for “spiritual things”; as is my relationship with the spiritual woman/ who actually left with the spirit of man inside of me. LEAVING ME with an actual “woman of time inside”; NO, I don’t know how or why?

   I have no conclusions at all. No concept of anything at all. No guess how it will end or begin or whatever this is. The only thing I am certain of is: “somehow, it is between the female world and I”? no clue why. Utterly lost, as to where this goes from here? Although it seems certain to be “female” one way or another/ as spiritually, I seem to have entered an entirely female world! And no, I don’t really know what that means either? Want to trade; there is no law for this: “that rare”?  I am almost 73 years old (not pretty)/ and this is the start of the 22 year; since “female” began. Even if you do; it won’t be possible for me or you. Time will tell what is true, assuming time exists. Not a clue; what the future will be; yours or mine?

   THE ONLY real world clue of evidence is: that in trading places, I seem to have become an example of men will be ruled by women now; as predicted in the second half of biblical Revelation “chapter12 on”.. the first eleven chapters; what happens if men remain in control; you can see the war, and its cost! Doesn’t do me any good to worry about that potential; or what It might mean to me/ so I don’t; no power to change anything. However,The advise is; if we all live together “gently”, and with respect; how will that not be better? Laws must be created? Or maybe it just means “change or die”? A woman’s choice. “complicated”?

   We are: “the seventh reincarnation of the Christian church”; and that initiates the choice. “ALIVE or dead”? Choose.

   Regardless, it is not up to you to know either/ so conversation is useless. And gossip, ridicule, bullying, propaganda or the rest are merely methods of making “you the superior one”/ and that does not exist either. Because I retired from your games a long time ago; they have no meaning here/ and I won’t play.    THIS IS YOUR CHOICE;  my job to warn you is done. Which means I, the man given that job; am no longer involved/ or somehow, I work for, or as: female now?  I know not; simple as that?  no comprehension exists.

   And the whole world says; as if one unified voice: WE DON’T WANT TO GROW UP!

   But reality says: the universities did not give you a choice/ they did what they did. NOW, you will grow up/ or die. Simple as that; because the evidence of threat is so severe/ you literally have no other choices.

   Go ahead: prove me wrong/ OR if you fail, life on earth is extinct. Simple as that? OR, IN OTHER TERMS; what part of trying to ignite a nuclear fire “just like the sun/ here on earth”; don’t you understand? “etcetera/ etcetera/ etcetera”.  But then that is an old testament prediction/ where law is never defeated. “the abomination” of Daniel 12: 11/  “want to go back”?

   You “the human world”; stand on the switch; that will be either life or death!

   I, have no clue; how I fit into that decision; which will decide the future of our world in time. Women will work for life/ or they will not; not my choice. Men will scream “its a man’s world”; and lose it/ or let women lead; simple as that. The children have no future today, so it is women that will decide for them; alive or dead.

   But the end result of it all is respect; which humanity has little or none of/ and without respect you are extinct. So make that your decision as well, because only truth survives, and respect identifies the miracles of life, as truth. Even if you do not; change or die. Simple enough for even you to understand that.

   And the people say: YOU CAN’T PROVE NOTHING. Yet the evidence surrounds you all, and I need not prove anything other than; “you do” have a choice today. As is what I have done. My job is finished/ the only work left: is yours.

   No one is asking you to “believe me”/ I am irrelevant to your choice. INSTEAD the evidence stands against you, screaming “extinction/ or change”. With that, you are warned: investigate and prove what is true/ as is redress claimed for you.

   PRIDE will now try to devour you! POWER will offer you solutions, which includes “Killing me”. And WANT is always screaming MORE as is an abyss or never satisfied.

   Whether you survive it or not; is up to you: your choice.

   Some will/ some will not/ some will believe all they need to do is kill me to make all the evidence of tragedy go away; but it is not so/ as I truly have nothing to do with your evidence. “it belongs only to you”! But people don’t need truth to believe what they want to believe; so preparations have been made; for you to go on if needed.

   Pride seeks to win/ power seeks revenge/ want demands predator or prey; and as always the majority scream; “nothing matters but MORE for ME”. So, time; and your own truth, will tell what is your fate or destiny, just like me.

   LOVE SAYS: LET TRUTH, and its values for life DECIDE, it is our own participation in Faith, as governed by respect! Not hard to understand/ unless you want “more”; than love, and its destiny.

   The critical truth of life is: I spent fifty years of twists and turns; trying to move you with the cost of being wrong/ for what universities were doing entangled with government to pay the way. As is building machines to ignite atomic fire on earth/ which started as government assisted, with Reagan. Who sold all your gold, to pay his way/ granting to “university knows; control over the currency of this USA”. Stealing everything they could/ destroying rural America; and even more. The end result of that; was to know: LAW IS THE ONLY SOLUTION for life. But you would not be moved; greed throttled the life out of you within a universities controlled cult screaming “this is where the money is”/ and they took control over everything; so they could create their slave army of graduates; that cannot pay their debt/ unless they obey. Today I am done; as are you. Threats everywhere shouting extinction/ and the only way out is truth. Which you don’t want/ because it ends the game called “winner; look at me/ look at me”. Tomorrow however is death and its destruction you cannot escape/ or life and its constant of change for life and earth first. No more kill the future/ even kill the child; so you can scream “winner” today. It is a choice. I did the best I could do; providing LAW FOR CHANGE AS IS REDRESS in this lawsuit. But only you can produce it as valued/ because behind closed doors; as they did before/ the cult of universities; wants nothing to do with truth or evidence; as is the fantasy they sell of delusions. As is “we can be gods”/ to their shame. So we are done. I did what I was allowed to do. Now it is your turn to decide; LIFE, by change; or death by following your cult; to their end; as is called fate. Reality says: it is my choice to thank all the people who did make a difference over those fifty years and more. Regardless of the contribution; I thank those who helped me. I remember those who sustained “life is for hope”. And in remembrance to my 9 month old nephew who died of a brain tumor/ I would not have tinnitus without you. And without that (never do that)/ the last forty years would have been very different. So never would I choose that; but the end result of it, changed my life in time; and that did result in this work. And so on.

   Life teaches: there should be something left of every life after we are gone/ that is not “just work”. Considering that, I would offer this simple truth. That children ARE NOT prepared, for the single greatest decision of their lives; which is selecting a mate for their future. We are all completely unprepared, for the intensity of tears, wants, realities, sex, and everything else puberty “falls upon us”; in an instant.

   While for male its just a “new toy”/ that makes you a boy, UNTIL you learn the penis is NOT A TOY, and it has severe consequences if you don’t understand it as a tool instead. Or man means: I know this is NOT a toy.

   In the real world; it is a tool beyond self (chemicals of time); that is designed to intensify the relationship between male and female. To then participate, in the creation of both heart (we have found the rhythms of life) and soul (the foundation of happiness itself). Because our gift to each other is true. “few” seek or find, the purity needed for that; and fall short “of joy”.

   THE LESSON of that is: YOU CANNOT simply “fight hard” to get what you want, even if you know you want it “want is a war; to take what you want”. Instead: Because soul is a gift of GOD, not of self. Which means, purity combines when life finds it is shared; by caring formed from respect.

   While young women apparently have a similar impact of consequences; but a completely different way of dealing with it. As is an intensity of everything, that guides young men into doing or being what they want. Regardless of a right; the fear of being left out, or finding yourself alone; and forced to survive in a world that does not care; is tragic. So they play games with sex and tears/ and young men play their games, to play with their toy. And both end in divorce; children or not.

   So the foundation of change would be: that a simple machine to create “there ain’t no higher chemical experience for you than this”/ takes away the game “to get more; and all the trouble that causes”. Those who want more anyway; are subject to addiction; and intervention should start NOW. AS IS to accept: life is not a chemical solution, stop wanting; and accept your true choice is love (the essence of happiness) or hate (the tragedy of war, with life_).

   While an honest female solution for not getting pregnant until over 25 would be best for every female; so the game of “I am pregnant” no longer works well. Preparing both for honest work as they choose; is an absolute. Which means: throw the dead heads of universities decide away/ and be real life teachers.

   Or more distinctly: WRECK THE CURSE of universities (a blanket covering) FOR organized crime and racketeering, which demands they are god. AND RETURN THIS NATION TO OURSELVES; by ending the constant curse of universities stealing and betrayal/ their terrorism and complete failure. By going back to truth and respect decide now by the law we will create for ourselves. Which ends their tyranny over life and nation.

   To remove the realities of finding a mate: means to change that as well. BECAUSE THE FOUNDATION OF A FUTURE; IS ENTIRELY DEPENDENT UPON FINDING SOMEONE who will honor the decisions that you make for yourself/ with decisions that are similar, of their own choosing. Which means sex has almost nothing to do with that. So don’t take your clothes off/ until you know honestly, we can walk this journey together; because we go to the very same place. And that takes time, and when you start with sex; you have no time to acknowledge each other as life. Sex takes control, and will not let go.

   Schooling should then be about learning the values and purposes and desires of each other as “male to female”; and in order to do that; an opportunity in schooling must exist so that each will learn about the other; as best they can. Which means every day should start with: a random selection: this person walks with that person “all day today”. And if you fail to respect each other; there WILL be consequences for you. Learn to get along.

   The final element of schooling is: all schooling, in particular; is about grouping people together, and defining for most how to manipulate them into making you the superior one.

   Grouping is used to create beliefs; “yes or no” applies to all. AS is then prejudice, etc.

   Of the methods most effective in this cost of living that is human; to insure EVERYBODY gets to experience what the other one feels in this enclosure. EVERYBODY gets the chance to be on the other side of that attack; as is a blind “you are alone”/ reality of consequences; that is followed with the choices now confronting you.

   Or at a less confrontational method, for all parties (which includes parents): STOP WANTING WHAT YOU WANT/ and let life be alive instead. Because living is about the understanding of life, NOT the game of winning. As is the constant of human failure in schools.

   Or in a real world truth: stop playing the game of “winner”/ and learn how to be human. The curse of America is: the game of winner/ which all play till at least 30 or so. When most will finally grow up and accept the truth that is: we are all human/ regardless what life does to us. The end result is: EQUALS because life is life, not a body of time.

   I offer the advise; stop playing THEIR game, and learn to live YOUR life instead. Yes it does leave you out of “the herd”/ but it gives back the journey of life, “in your own time” of living. As best you can for us all.

   THE LESSON OF OLD AGE IS: “every truth matters”, because you cannot go back and say, this was not so/ it is so; just how it is. And like every burden in time; you will carry every truth with you, as a reminder of what you chose to do. Some experience hope/ and some experience hell; but the end result of time is: “whatever you choose” it is what you PERSONALLY chose. Even if not entirely on your own/ your decision is your own; and you cannot make it go away.

   The advise is then: “choose carefully”/ and try to make decisions you will not regret. Because the end result of time is: by your own desires and decisions; YOU WILL create the destiny of your life; or its fate in death. You CANNOT blame GOD for your decisions; they are your decisions. You CANNOT give away your decisions to GOD; this is your time/ this is your decision; NOT “GOD’ S” decision for you. You CANNOT escape the realities of life by saying; “its not my choice/ it is your choice”. Or more simply; although there is a spiritual world beyond time; it is not to make your decisions; YOUR LIFE/ means your decision. And we all must live with the consequences of what we choose to do.

   I chose: to create the situation whereby “my life was changed”. It is my truth, even though it was not intentional; it is still my truth, and that governs life. Same is true for you. 

   The question is: “does GOD govern, the spiritual direction of our lives or future”? Nobody knows, clearly that is a decision we DO NOT make. So life remembers; be fair with yourself; and respect the decisions that you make; as is the best we can do.

   Or, if you wish to conceive of “spiritual interference”; you can consider; that this work is largely the result of “severe tinnitus”; which killed every other choice I would have been able to make. So is that “good or bad”? Is it “spiritual intervention” or not? Did I deserve that result/ or does the result serve me, or life: better? Or more simply: “we live as best we can/ and then we die as best we can”; and whatever is in-between those barriers becomes our truth; as best we can. “so deal with it”, as best you can.

   as for “relationship advise”; the foundation of it is simple. DO NOT BELIEVE YOU KNOW. Simple as that, DEFINE every word; because every word has different meanings to those who use it. And while such things as: “no, I don’t need her”; meant will I die if she leaves/ making the answer no I won’t die. That term called need; has a wide variety of values to different people; as is not everyone believes need means “life or death”. If you find “nobody is willing to talk anymore; it is because they believe they know the answer, or are unwilling to change. Which can either be the beginning of a new relationship/ or its ending. Talk is essential, as is sexual responses which include; more than you may wish to pay. So it is a choice; and the critical truth of it is: HOW MUCH is this relationship worth to you/ or TO US, as is every act is reciprocal. You make her happy/ she makes you happy; is fair. Male and female balance each other with values the other does not hold. I have no clue what “the perverse choose”/ nor do I wish to know; but each one has an independent right to “their own truth”. Its called life; I own mine/ NOT you. MY CHOICE/ not yours.

   LOVE is not a sacrifice of any kind/ it is a gift. Remember that or reality will enforce the consequences of your failure to understand life is a choice/ not a command. SEX is a human reality, and it comes with a wide variety of choices/ so truth replies; it is better to know what those desires are (before real commitments are made)/ than to be surprised later; and unwilling to participate. Chemical sex is an act of physical wants; based upon chemical responses as is addictive. REAL LIFE LOVE is not a chemical addiction (vasectomy ends the chemicals; which ends the sex)/ but a quest for love beyond self; which is intimate and true to life itself in each one.

   Honesty says: “you owe” your body its life/ as is survival. Same way as your body owes your existence, its search for happiness; as is the constant of love itself. But as a herd reliant upon chemistry for its values; the descent into want is inevitable; because an animal only knows what it wants. Rather than the essence of thought, which is I AM ALIVE. The difference is massive. The constant however is small: want controls or life must choose between love or hate. Because both cannot survive in want. As is the cost of most relationships.

   I was married for two years “its complicated”/ but the end result of that was “she wanted to be, like the rest”; and I just plain could not be like the rest (too different). And that tore us apart. You cannot simply describe that as “want, love, or hate”; because it involved all of them. As is the truth, and the cost; of most relationships called human.

   Because the end result of every decision; are the consequences of that decision; and that creates a fear, which produces a panic; which causes trouble to exist. Or in more distinct terms: when faced with 3-4 variables to a decision; the end result of that is; more often than not, “a surprise”. But we do still have to pay, surprise or not. Because it is a decision “I made”/ regardless of “other inputs” which led me to that decision. An example of that was: faced with surgery from chemical contamination; I chose to have the surgery/ a sacrifice based upon it would lead to a courtroom; where the cost of being wrong for this whole world; could be included. I was wrong, as all sacrifices are; but then I depended upon the sanity of others/ only to find they prefer to be insane.

   End result for relationships are: we must have a primary decision, that leads us both to the same path of living our lives; as one. Disciplines show that as truth, in you/ order recognizes there is a price to be paid; or refused by you/ and respect honors the foundations of what we have both already done; paving the way for “together we will try”. To describe ourselves as truth; upon which trust is formed; upon which commitments arise. Not by want, but by truth leads us now. Our truth was: this is not working for either of us/ and we parted ways. “no kids”.

   And that results in: I went back to my own path/ with severe alterations regarding women and sex (can’t trust anything here). Choosing to walk the line between life and death instead, to learn what I could learn; as is a preparation for life beyond death of time. The spiritual world is part of that; and although the first trial was a sacrifice; as always BAD. It did teach me what I needed to know; and that allowed me to enter within a world barred from most people; where the value was true to what I did need in me. It did not allow for companionship, tinnitus did not allow for options, and the end result of that became the life I have lived. Where believe it or not: the spiritual world now rules over me. NOT mentally (although elements of female now exist/ where male only used to be), or writing is mine (simply human); but the reality has been: “remain focused only here”; says it pretty plain. Or more distinctly; “there is no voice/ only truth, as the evidence will prove; and that is what it is; rather than what I might want it to be. Redefined by a completely “different view of living or life” (such a surprise_) “female in charge now”; I don’t know why? Other than male left for eternal life; no clue what that functionally means; OR, even if that fundamentally means, I AM female now (parts and pieces denied)? “weird/ different/ changed”. Chained to the back seat, along for the ride; not for me to decide. And it seems true that I will never be done with this work. Which occurs to me; is basically what “being mother means”. Or, I guess; the work itself has become “my child”. Want it or not. Although it remains true; I simply cannot let this world die, without a fight; female or male regardless. Completely does not matter!

10. but there is an end to that hope, where you utterly refuse to care. as is “your choice”.  OR MORE CLEARLY:  I tried to convince you “this is bad” as male/ but greed owned you. Ending hope in me, after a ten year search for what can male do/ ended in nothing at all; extinction is certain; so I asked to leave. BUT was returned to time, “in the opposite direction”; to encounter female. while we worked together for “change or die” 12 years or so. But you were too selfish to care/ so that ended too without hope for you. and now: it is, strictly female who tries, “being instructed by spiritual female”/ who has left (complicated) “in me”. To stop the ending of this world, by herself basically;  because that is what you chose, throwing away this entire world, for want;  in worship of your cult, that is “university is god”. To your shame; want remains your god/ even though the evidence is certain of your extinction. but, you are given the tools to change/ even if your brain is dead; as is the constant called “a cult”.
11. MY own understanding of it all is: that male ran out of hope for you, and entered into eternity with the spiritual woman of “revelation 12”;  who joined him some 21 years ago. leaving without male, what is now “physically and mentally conceived of as female”. I don’t know how? but she remains with hope, being different than male. WHAT that means to the future of this life or living or working or eternity is a mystery; not a clue. Don’t know if you survive or not either; but that is your choice/ not mine.  so, “is it my life”? don’t know? a new life; “don’t know”. What I do know is it is clearly a different life, and I don’t know how to live it; as yet anyway. I seem trapped by some kind of weird triangle defined by revelation 17; 3  as is “male, but not male”/ owned but not exactly owned/ redefined clearly true, but with no anchor to control the way.  “kind of lost at sea” so to speak/ just don’t know; how to be “me”? first reality says;  “you must define that, in order to begin”. Don’t know how; complicated/ but male is gone; so apparently one way or the other; I am going to learn.  “wait and see; not enough evidence yet, to prove the reality”.   “just questions”!
12. nonetheless:  “her choice, her work now”/ male is gone. Want has absolutely nothing to do with that reality.