Of things learned between the battleground; of male and female. What I remember of male is: that being female was never questioned, it was a reality to be respected, and honored with simple truths. But I never questioned what would it be like to be female; “for more than a moment of two”; wasn’t my job.
In CONTRAST to that now; is the certainty of learning what it does mean to be female/ and reality offers, “it is clearly not as nice as it could be for the vast majority”. The foundation of that is simply; having traded places, I have learned what I would choose to do is clearly secondary to whatever “the boss” demands “i or we” do. Mine is now a life of “ten thousand sighs”/ with very little freedoms to choose for myself left. As can be considered the living of too many women. Stuck in a situation which does not align with my own choices; I find myself eating a bit more than I otherwise would, particularly sweets and such/ and that is hard to lose, without a work that requires exercise and my own attention. Not hard to tell why woman put on weight, if they do not get out of the house to do some sort of work.
While there are also realities of body, I would never have guessed; as is tits that refuse to “just get it over with”. They simply push whenever they want too/ and I have no say. Becoming a bit intrusive, and in the way, as well.
Life and living continues to remind me of vulnerability, and what that does mean to most women of this world/ in very many ways I would never have, or did consider before. Realities of sex that cannot be stopped, further define a life “less than perfect”. So the question is pregnancy; and the answer is men have no clue/ none. Because I can tell, the body is used, rather than a choice.
And then we must consider; the cost of not finding a male to help with staying alive, and creating a life together. Which means a far greater division in wealth, than the others have. The constant being; most will choose to steal if they can/ and that ends with families being destroyed. But when the reality is a trap, set to find a husband/ hanging onto that husband may or may not be desired by either side. And of children; if they take ALL your time and effort/ husbands are forgotten, and sometimes leave. But they are “a woman’s work”/ and establishing that does often come first.
the critical truth of commitment is: “a lifetime”/ hard to do. Unless you walk the same journey/ same desires; as one.
The critical truth of men is: they are playing a game most of the time, and most look for trophies first. Lies and liars should be rejected, because they are hiding tears for you. While those who are valued, CANNOT be trapped into relationships beyond love will grant this. Because it is a death to self/ and that is wrong. No more “I am pregnant”/ should exist.
A life sustained by relationship truth is: together we walk the same path, with few differences; because we are valued as love by each other. To sustain love, WE MUST talk about life and living and truths, because understanding each other equals an ascent into trust by that truth, and its evidence in life. Therefore “what is hidden” from the other/ becomes the choice to discard what we have together; for what is separate. While living requires separate lives in balance. That balance is tested, when we do not know what the realities are. I cannot help you/ nor you me; if we do not understand what is true. So we talk about life and living and faith and truth, to assemble trust; and in that trust love rises to become “the heart and soul we share”. Because caring is real now.
Sharing is a truth of our commitment to life/ while caring is our commitment to living with heart. Respect adds in soul understands the MIRACLE of life, is more than we can measure. But death is a tragedy we can/ therefore special interest needs to be given to those who are failing themselves with the fraud of “what pride can do”/ as is suicide, or the power of measuring life has no value to me.
The value of living is love; but in a world nearly void of love, the reality of living a shared existence, is given to GOD ; because nothing less is expressed as, safe to do. But we must search where we can. And as with me; some will be given a job, that is overwhelming to the rest of life or humanity. Some will leave; because life as with me “for this entire world” comes first/ no life no love; simple as that. Some will not return, because others refuse the right to make a difference/ and unless you can stay, protecting the living from tears is respect. Even if less than perfect.
“a thousand things” literally need to be changed in order for life and living to become better; for the values of love to be experienced. Life is not a game, and that requires removal to assemble any form of caring between us. Or its just trophies and toys; which wear thin over time.
The most critical thing you can do for marriage is: “help me if you can”. Because survival is not a game, and realities of living are better shared than not. Even if all you have to offer is your time, that can have value to me. DO NOT make my life more miserable; by adding decisions that enslave my work or life in what I did not choose for me. We share the experience/ or somehow I or you, have become “UN-cared” for. Respect disappears, and so does sexual desire; because it is more than chemicals, when life is for caring with sharing “for you”. Sex is not a game, and past dating; it cannot buy you what you want. Which is truth, because only truth survives, and if your relationship is desired to survive; you each, must have and share truth.
Remembering the single element of living is: that we did make this choice for ourselves. Even if we were manipulated, tempted, betrayed, or whatever; we chose to participate in those things too. So learning not to do that, is your personal journey. Remembering truth decides not want, is its path.
Some will fail/ some will be lost to life/ some will fall victim to “what we cannot control”/ and some will simply decide to move on; because the end result of time is/ we all die. And you only get this one chance to decide your own truth. That then really does not have anything to do; “with a partnership”/ because self can transform value into chains; when want goes bad.
As with all of life; “it is ultimately true; this is all I got”/ stands as the reality of life. Criminal claims more, but cannot deliver on their lies, without crimes. You cannot give away what does not belong to you; that too is a crime. You cannot blame someone else; because truth will not let you. And life is about your truth and mine. The quest for an eternal life commands it shall be confined to truth/ never want or belief. Miracles identify life is a gift/ and if life is a gift, then it has a purpose beyond time, as is given to truth as a judge. Your truth is your judge/ you chose.
The legacy of nearly all humans on earth today is: I WANT WHAT I WANT/ AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM TAKING WHAT I WANT. Nor can you stop the consequences of what 9 BILLION people do to their world, by screaming “I WON’T CARE”. So the end result of that is; the loss of love, respect, hope, values, truth, discipline, order, heart and soul.
Therefore we know in this time governed by lust and the media curse of exploiting every heinous act of hate humanity can think of; “as entertainment”. That finding love of any kind is; “extremely hard”.
We then know the consequences of that to be; gambling, lust, ridicule, addictions, suicide, gossip, lies, cheating, stealing, betrayal, terrorism; judgment, violence, and cult worship of university as leader. And of course war coming soon; which will be your extinction.
Given that, the foundation of living will either be resurrected from the dead/ or lost forever. We need love to survive, and when hate as in JESUS day overrides the truth of life which is the gift of miracles; to establish what is true. The descent from value is harsh and swift, and the leaders of that hate are formed within university is “god”. To your shame; believers nearly all.
Love respect life, all of it as a miracle we the people CANNOT possibly create. University however believes; “BY STEALING” what nature has produced/ they can be gods by rearranging it with chaos; as is their religion called evolution. Nothing on earth is less true. And we stand at the gate; of losing everything life is or can ever be.
So the choice of male and female is: DO YOU WANT CHAOS TO LEAD/ or do you desire love to be precious and valued as life giving hope? Because without true change; the consequences of your hate and refusal to care; are chaos enlarged to become extinction from this earth.
Turn back to life/ not want. Recognize that want determines every behavior, because “you don’t lie/ if you don’t want something from that lie”. You don’t steal unless you make an excuse first. You don’t judge unless you play the game created by pride. Or more simply: want decides direction/ pride makes living a game of winner or loser/ and power allows you to measure and judge the others by that game. Conceiving of worthless/ and thereby the violence of playing god with life you did not create.
Suicide is the result of pride; because the game creates a “voice inside”/ and that voice wants to win; which grants to humanity, all the variations of what will make me; “the winner”/ along with its hate. To stop suicide and the endless behaviors of failure that are human; you must remove the want/ and quit judging yourself as winner or loser/ INSTEAD YOU ARE ALIVE, and that is far more important, than any game.
But then we return to love, and the cost of want which becomes a game, and creates a judgment; so that you can decide if they live or die (playing god). Not enough love; I can kill the enemy, as is suicide; killing the body of your own life.
LOVE however is, the acceptance of life is life, and living is not to be judged by you/ unless it is truly criminal (destructive without a cause). LIFE is the relationship we share with loneliness inside/ and only love can mend that heart. But it is not for liars/ and it is not for cheaters who will steal your love/ and it is not to be given away without trust; which can fail in humanity. So truth leads us all, in the ways of what does or does not have value/ who can or cannot be trusted; and the reality of life which is, “do I honestly have enough love left to share”? Because if you do not, and it fails to return as love to you/ then your own life can fail, because there is no one to give back the foundation of our existence which is love removes loneliness. And loneliness is an extreme version of the grave. WE MUST each protect ourselves; by understanding love is life/ and we must not give the last of it away; to save ourselves. But within the essence of that truth, is a search for love itself; and there is no better example than JESUS (biblical); who guaranteed; “if we are love/ then eternity will remember (the treasury of our lives, is truth itself) and will, save our soul.”
SIMPLY between male and female; the truth is, that I have failed to accept as second try; which requires, “women can be trusted”. The end result of that is running away from women who are charming and vital in and of themselves/ because I don’t want to fall back into a relationship; which will end badly. “want is a terrible thing”. So even if you are kind and friendly, valued and respected; it is simply true whether male or female, that the opposite sex might simply run away without cause. It is an element of fear, based upon the cost of previous relationships; hard to overcome.
Even when value is established; I ran away from female, because this “job” was more important to me, than hope or happiness; as is the singular effect of being in love. Without a world to live in/ there is no love for anyone; which makes the job of at least doing what I could do/ more important than me. Even so, I initially believed: “this can’t take more than ten years”/ but was completely wrong; because you would not care.
While there are those who “choose you”/ if your heart does not choose them back; truth says it will not work. Not because love is not present; but because the paths we each take will not combine as one. And that is; what marriage is about; becoming literally as one life shared, without significant restraints; because freedom is released. BUT THAT is the result of trust, and trust is earned by truth, not given as love. The decision must complete the purpose and its own true desire. Establishing, WE CARE, not just me. Even so, loneliness guides our path through life/ until life itself shares the heart of soul within.
We guide each other with love, to life beyond self. While hate guides you to death and its chaos; as is university leads. Have they not proven that to be true? We stand on the edge of extinction/ by the evidence of what they led humanity to do; the cost of their decisions on us all.
Female adds a layer of complexity, that ends with “I refuse to understand this”; love has failed, because of want. And my education could not tolerate that truth; I needed life to be simple. HOW ODD IT IS, that female was joined to my life and living 22 years ago; to become the single element of complexity, that allowed for my own education to be enlarged to the point of making this work possible. As it is male, that failed; want is not enough/ truth must decide, and without a “full view” of life and living; that cannot be done. Life is a strange thing, as I would never have guessed; female added in, defines the truth. And gives life back to our existence. At least by presenting the choice; of life OR death/ instead of universities decide by hate.
The cost however is: “female, is in charge/ and male discarded”/ don’t know why?
The elemental truth of my life however seems to be: that all people involved served their own purpose of pointing me to “this work”. To understand, or to stop, or to accept, or to deny; to find refuge or not, as is consistent with life/ and its truth in time.
As for male to female relationships; youth teaches, even though you are ready for love/ you are NOT ready to experience the realities of “I am pregnant”/ even if it is a lie; as so many are. It opens the door “to ten thousand complications and changes in living/ that were not intended. EVEN if you did not have “real world intercourse”. People want what they want/ and young women fear the cost of sex is pregnancy; and it all gets jumbled together as if true/ or as is true; and no backing out now. Without severe costs to each. So LEARN ABOUT EACH OTHER/ STOP, commanding or chaining people to you/ ACCEPT THE LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES of real world life; which demands survival comes first. Even if that is not what you want. Let truth decide/ not wants, pride, or power. The first step, in ascending beyond self.
Loneliness can follow giving your love away; and it did not return. That means your own life is struggling to survive, and it is within your soul to turn to GOD our CREATOR, as a true message of hope. Giving the best of your love only to HIM; “keeps it safe”. But if you have given everything else away, emptiness will follow; and it needs someone in time; to give something of love back. “so that the seed” can grow once again. Life is an essence of truth, that lives within us all; and learning there is this separation between “self” and “life”/ that means: I am never alone, because life is here.
As to the remainder of living with life, as male and female trying to form relationships that will last. Sex is NOT a value (although it will keep people around/ it is nearly impossible to close that door again; they want what they want). So the end result of sex is it takes time, and reduces the relationship to want. No learning or teaching each other here/ and that means we cannot balance life with each other. Most marriage exists for sex or security/ and that is why divorce is so high. Children make it possible to retain that relationship; but when they leave, it is just two people left; who know little of each other/ because that is not what you have done.
People refrain from sex in a marriage; because there are problems; YOU did not help me survive or make things better for our lives or family, is a big problem. I am not your slave is the result. You chose family or other before me; and that is not fair to me/ as I am here for you; is a big problem. You have started to disrespect me/ and I then you; because the value of our lives has changed; we don’t need each other, and then we are left with: “do we love each other”. A big problem is you can’t resolve it. You did not let me be free, as I do need to be; to retain happiness inside of myself. Not with sacrifice, but with the truth of what we share/ or how we care for each other. There is a difference in our behavior about religion now; because belief is a want/ and all wants realize something is missing or desired that is not here now. Pride shapes the destiny of our lives; by declaring life is a game/ and that limits your life to a trophy, or not. Power judges life and you/ and fails our living with measurements instead of truth of life itself.
As we grow old; the distance between life and death narrows, and becomes a chasm of our beliefs. That consequence leads to many different conceptions of what is fair/ or not. And the distinction of what we do decide regarding death and its grave; will show through. Even so; only truth will decide/ because only truth shall survive into beyond the grave existence. What that ultimately means: will be determined by what is true. Which makes your own truth, an asset/ or a disgrace.
Elementally love shapes our destiny, by its truth. Because only love searches for life/ while hate searches for death/ and want simply searches for time; which vanishes forever. It is your choice; “to identify your truth”.
Stay together for your children if you can/ its important; but don’t sacrifice yourself/ BE FAIR, as best you can. Sex if for lovers, who live the value of shared care, and respect. It is not a game; be honest, your own truth knows you. DON’T assume dreams or anything else, will know for you; it WON’T. Gossip is extremely unreliable; never believe. Remember of all things in life or death: I AM NOT your savior, etc. merely the messenger telling you; “change or you will be extinct; as the evidence does prove. Don’t be distracted by me; use redress/ world law/ and limited capitalism; by letting only truth decide not want.
REMEMBER THIS; THAT HUMAN LIFE HAS REACHED 9 BILLION PEOPLE. Which means one percent rise in world population, is another million people every four days to feed, water, etc. YOU WON’T survive it. Choose better.
. Or accept your defeat; and prepare for extinction as is what you chose. You won’t survive weapons of mass destruction/ or the fact universities hold more biological weapons than do governments/ won’t survive a trillion tons of poisons/ or a quadrillion tons of pollution/ or nature being mutilated into chaos/ or sun fire on earth as is universities playing god/ or a future without resources; all children dead. Or a thousand more realities of your own truth, as the evidence does prove true.
As for life in me; “i feel a bit different”/ but who really knows? Could be here another human years/ could be gone tomorrow (not your choice); but whatever it is, learn this. That life is not about what you believe (just wants). Life is a relationship with truth, and in that truth we come alive for an eternity. So this world is about choosing your own truth, and the reality of what that will mean to you. I did the best I could/ never perfect. Not as you expect in any way; but life is not about what you want. Life is about what is true. Because only truth survives.
Possible conclusion of this work: “I am” about as far away from what religion expected/ as realistically possible. Nonetheless, I did the work needed; because life on earth is important to me. About as far from the rest of humanity, as what they want; because they can only want what they want; as is greed, selfishness, power, and pride by screaming ME, ITS ALL ABOUT ME. And the world says; “we won’t care”. And neither do I. But the evidence is real; and it condemns life on earth to extinction; as humanity itself “SCREAMING DON’T TELL ME NOTHING”/ knows is true. But you cannot avoid truth, as with a nuclear “lets burn atoms sun fire, released upon this world”. IT WILL CREEP INTO EVERY HOLE, and INCINERATE every soul on earth. Because that is what you chose; by claiming “university is god” to your; eternal shame. CHANGE OR DIE; YOUR CHOICE, and you cannot blame me; because I ain’t your excuse. Period!
Nonetheless religion sacrificed everything, “to the university is god”; screaming “now we know”, because they have a diploma; and no brain, as is a cult.
While humanity itself screams; GREED IS ALL I NEED/ to hell with you, is all I want; unless lust gets in the way.
And universities itself; shout, WE WILL BE god/ igniting the same fire here as is on the sun will prove that.
Evidence however says; all you get from universities are its title; “SATAN” on earth/ and its proof of death, as is incineration forever unleashed; because that is what you chose. “to kill this entire Creation of life on earth”. and ALL OF RELIGION SHOUTS; “GOD” will never let that happen! WE KNOW. and yet you are not GOD, and you have no clue at all.
the evidence of “fossil fuels”: proves Noah’s flood did exist (stated cause; HUMANITY would not care, about life is sacred/ and refused respect, by letting want lead)/ which was almost the end of life on earth. igniting SUN FIRE HERE, does not leave room for a single living thing to survive; “the million mile long flames”.
in JESUS time; hate nearly ended life on earth/ because violence was the cost of their pride.
today universities claim power; to make themselves “god”/ but all they can do is claim SATAN, as is death of a world.